I’m moving to Bali. There is a school in Ubud called The Green School where they teach children about sustainability and how to live holistically. Each student has their own garden plot where they learn to grow and tend to organic fruits and vegetables. We will live in a simple Balinese style villa and I will ride my bike through the green rice paddies to the market where I will gossip with the local women and they will share with me their traditional ways of cooking the beautiful produce I buy. I will go to yoga every day. Every day. I will have long conversations with my husband over cool wine on balmy evenings and I will love spending time with my children, laughing, reading, swimming because there will be nothing else I should be doing. Who knows? Maybe I’ll even have another one, just for fun.
This will be me in Bali having my fourth baby which I will be completely calm and cool about...
Okay…I’m not really moving to Bali but this is my dream. It is my dream for a more simple life. A life without the pressures that have crept upon us unnoticed. Money, work, stuff…more stuff. It pays to be mindful of what you sign up for because a deals a deal and once you’ve committed to certain choices…school fees, mortgage, blonde highlights…they can be hard to back out of. Not impossible, but difficult. When I ask people around me how they are, almost always they will say busy. Crazy busy. So much on at the moment. Never have a moment to myself. This is a real concern. It’s almost like if we are not busy, we are not doing enough. Not important enough. I think it’s alienating to tell people you are busy all the time. I’m sure they think they can’t call you, drop in for a chat, ask your advice, invite you to dinner because you are unavailable. I make a point of saying oh, you know…just cruising. Not a lot on, looking forward to some fun on the weekend. I want to be invited to dinner.
What is important to you, really important?
I’m learning to really focus on the things that are important to me. I don’t need a lot of stuff, in fact…too much stuff makes me nervous.
Stuff: Those who have been to my home will tell you it is always so clean, so tidy. This is not because I’m a clean freak – I hate house work as much as the rest of us. But I just can’t function in a state of chaos. I need space and order or I start freaking out. My environment is really important to me.
Food: Food is also really important to me. Nourishing my family with healthy, wholesome, organic, home made food is a vital. It’s not always easy and I’m not always good at it. It takes a lot of time, but to me, it’s a priority.
Yoga: Yoga is the only thing in my life that is purely for me. When I am locked in the hot room or yoga studio, no-one can get to me. No phones, no computers, no…dare I say it…children. Sure, it’s sweaty and it stinks but it’s so good for my mind and my body. I just can’t give it up.
Coffee: (or rather, decaf, skinny, soy latte) Coffee. It’s my one thing. My reward, my prize…the thing I look forward to every day. It’s also about connecting. Where I live, you can’t pop down the street for a coffee without running in to at least three people you know and I love that sense of community. I never go home feeling lonely.
Family and Friends: It goes without saying…or does it? This is the part of my life I would like to focus more on. More one on one time with my husband (if he’s ever here) listening more deeply to my children and having time for my friends (texting does not count!) because I love them so much and they lift my spirit and make me feel so good about myself even though I have not phoned in, like, ages (I’m so sorry Cars xxx).
This isn't me...it's Julia Roberts in Eat Pray Love. I have this picture next to my bed to remind me of my dream...and one of Javier Bardem too...just kidding!
So…what can you live without?
The idea of giving things up sounds counter productive. Isn’t this what we’ve worked so hard for? Why give it up? Well it’s great if you don’t have to, if you are happy, and healthy that’s fantastic. But if you are looking for more time, more space in your life for the things that really make you happy…some difficult questions may need to be asked. So, what can you live without? There’s always something. Here are a few ideas to think about…
Don’t commit: It’s okay to say “let me think about that and get back to you”. Will you be on the School Parents Committee? Can your kids play soccer at 8am every single Saturday morning? Want to commit to a 24 month Pay TV Contract? Think about it. And if the answer is no, just say, no thanks…no long winded, guilt ridden explanation required.
Get rid of the List: I am so guilty of this one. How many things do you have on your list every day? Even if you do 9 out of ten of those things, you still feel guilty about the one you didn’t get to! I try to have a rough idea about what I would like to achieve. I am a results kind of girl…I love ticking the boxes, the before and afters…the thrill of achievement. I used to think it meant I was driven…now I just think it means I need to get a life!
Be kind, have fun and tell the truth: Remember your husband and your kids are on your team, say no to housework and yes to lunch with the girls. Listen to music, eat, drink, celebrate. Find one thing you love and do it everyday. And tell the truth…about what you think, what you need, how you are feeling. Be kind to yourself and be a bit of a rebel. Yeah…put the colours in with the darks if it saves you some time…I DARE YOU!!!
So, with the move to Bali remaining in my dreams for the present…I will have to shop at my own beautiful Farmer’s Market, tend to our own little vegetable patch and have long conversations with my husband via email…and as for having another baby…you would have to be freaking kidding!
What makes you happy? How do you simplify your life? What sorts of things have you learned to live without? We would love to hear from you…leave a comment and share the love!
mamacino x
You’re forgiven! And no matter how busy I am I always have time for a call from you!! Go! To to Bali- dream it, dare it, do it!
love this!
Love this post. While I probably always reply with “I’m busy”, I always have time for the good things. Family, friends, coffee, cooking……I wish I had more time for reading for pleasure. I’ve almost finished a uni degree and when that is done, I will be relishing the opportunity to just read, and not a textbook. I am often appalled by the consumerism which seems to surround us and I do make a conscious effort to not buy into it. The important things in your life, pretty much mirror what is important to me too. Great blog xx
I love your thoughts and as a family we did try to live less wastefully, some of the things our family didn’t need we lived without. One bathroom was enough, local schools were great, we didn’t need central heating, our floors were rarely sparkling, etc Less is probably both easier and harder for us in our society as we have so much extra and money to buy many of the things we want, but then again we don’t need to spend all day sustaining ourselves and our families. I guess the simple life just isn’t an option for many people in the local area let alone the world. That said I’m sure there is more we could be doing to do more with less! Thanks for provoking thought!
Busy comes with the territory of this day and age doesnt it! However so often I am just busy being busy! I often wonder how I would ever find the time to work, however if I had to work of course I would find the time and somnething else would slide, or would nothing else slide and I would I just be even busier!?! I find 4 hours a week to go to the gym without a doubt I will participate in 4 classes but try and fit a 5th in and its almost impossible! I always find time for coffee with friends and never too busy to take or make a phone call, I just need to get into the habit of making weekly ten mins chats instead of finding an hour once a month! We all have 168 hours in the week it is one commodity that is the same for every human being world wide…we need to fill our week with the big rocks first, the important things the things that make us smile, our hearts sing, then fill in the gaps with the neccasary things and try to keep the time wasting tasks to a minimal!
Thank you all for your insightful comments…and taking the time to read my little old blog…especially as I know you are all truly busy doing very special things xxx
What a lovely post and it does sound like a woonderful thing to aspire to. I totally agree on the things that are important – you really have to focus on those things!
xxAndj
Thinks that make me happy – my son and his joyous outlook on life. Good fresh simple foods, my fiance and his nobility. I’ve simplified by cutting down on waste and taking my containers with me to the market and yes, even putting my colours in with my darks.
i so want to live a simple life and hate the fact ive had to schedule time to do nothing , but that is the world we live in we over commit to sport,work,kids & housework. im working on getting rid of enough stuff and reducing the housework so i may just be able to fit in yoga!
Yay! Ditch the housework for yoga, definitely!